New York Shitty

<Originally posted elsewhere on January 14th, 2009>


I'm tethered to my computer this morning waiting to purchase two tickets for my dusty August "vacation".  And I'm mesmerized by HGTV's House Hunters.  I love this show.  I can't explain why. 

But.  I need some help.  Someone help me understand. 

This woman is touring apartments in New York City.  The units are between 600-700 square feet with price tags between 480-500K with monthly maintenance fees of around $700.  The unit she ended up purchasing has a FAUX FIREPLACE.   

Really?!?!?!?!?!?! 

If I spent that much money on a place to live (which we nearly did in April), I'm going to want to hang out there.  And a place the size of a glorified shoebox doesn't exactly make me want me want to curl up and relax. 

And "maintenance fees" of $700?  That's just a few hundred short of the mortgage payment on our condo. 

I totally understand purchasing a property with a fireplace and not wanting to go through the hassle of cleaning/using it and making it decorative with candles or kitsch.  But to build a floor-to-ceiling brick facade that is in no way a fireplace?  Srsly?


Okay.  So I have my expensive New York City co-op which is too small for me to have more than 1.5 friends over (unless they all have eating disorders and then I can probably fit 2-3).  Which means that my apartment is essentially a cruise ship stateroom with the idea that you spend the majority of your time elsewhere.  So, my ridiculous-per-square foot apartment sends me out into the spendy New York world where I'll easily spend $15 on a drink. 

Call me a suburbs girl but I don't get it.  I like space, I like openness, I like windows that don't look down into dark alleys, and I don't care much for being charged rape-y fees for living in a storage closet. 

Good talk.  (And if you can explain this phenomenon of the expensive New York closet-apartments, I'm all ears.) 

(I'm now watching re-runs of Bevery Hills 90210 and feeling much less confused.  Thanks.)