Most of you have probably never heard of Paul Chek. That's okay - consider yourselves lucky. Paul Chek is a personal trainer with a few extra degrees who has taken it upon himself to open up a training institute and bless those of us who do not live in California with the gift of his know-it-all via DVD. I watched two of his videos this past week as part of my continuing education to renew my PT certification in May (this, incidentally, would be the "months long" class that would occupy "several nights a week" that forced me to drop several clients, namely one Doctor Asshole).
I purchased this course because of the title of it was Assessing Core Strength, which sounded great since I focus heavily on core strength with the majority of my clients. Mr. Chek offered several ways to test core strength but unfortunately, most of the methods he offered would be likely to land me in jail with a molestation charge.
One of them involved sticking my finger in a client's bellybutton to determine whether the transverse abdominal muscle was engaged. Apparently, Mr. Chek is immune to the rather common knowlege that most people go apeshit if you go anywhere NEAR the bellybutton region. And he's asking me to commit bellybutton-rape in the name of fitness? I think not.
He also suggests tying a string around the client's waist to determine if the appropriate muscles are activated. If they are, there will be slack in the string. If they aren't, the client will experience a humiliating and public case of "dunlap syndrome" as in "My belly dun-lapped over the tiny piece of string you tied on me, you motherfucker." I will note that Mr. Chek demonstrated this technique on the quintessential pool boy with six pack abs and who was missing a shirt. Oopsie. Mr. Chek is oblivious to the fact that this person is atypical to the average client in that his body fat percentage is ridiculously low and he is most definitely lipid-challenged.
Finally, Mr. Chek recommends visually watching the client's stomach as they perform a particular exercise to determine if the correct muscles are engaged. Again, I find that Mr. Chek is living in some alternate universe as I generally do not train my clients topless or naked. And, more importantly, my clients tend to be deconditioned older ladies who do possess extra lipids in the abdominal region and therefore DO NOT HAVE VISIBLE ABDOMINAL MUSCLES IN ANY SORT OF SITUATION EXCEPT AN MRI.
I concluded that the only way for me to determine my clients' core strength is to molest them in a number of ways that are intrusive and involve a degree of intimacy not usually associated with personal training.
I can only hope that Paul Chek's clients organize some sort of revolt against bellybutton-rape, string molestation, and humiliating displays of nudity in the name of fitness. I also hope that someday Paul Chek has to assess and/or train a person with bodyfat percentage higher than 15%. I regret that I will not be able to see the expression on his face as his client closely resembles a prepared ham.
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