You've been observing the asshole for a while now and your blood pressure steadily rises as this person proceeds to tailgate you and finally whip around you only to cut you off by changing lanes perilously close to you.
"What kind of moron drives like that?", you wonder to yourself. "That person must have a deathwish."
The moment finally arrives when the flow of traffic has arranged it such that you are finally side-by-side this demonic driver and you slowly look over to observe the person who seemingly wants to kill you (or quite possibly both of you).
WHY IS THAT NEVER SATISFYING?
I've never had the experience of looking over and thinking to myself "OH. That's about right. He/she looks EXACTLY like someone who wants to randomly murder others on the road." It's always so disappointing. It's a bald dude with a shirt the fashion police should have confiscated years ago. Or a young pony-tailed soccer mom busily on the phone who really has no business driving her H2.
I don't know what I expect to see. Horns and a tail, maybe? Sharp, pointy teeth? A sign hand-written in crayon pressed up against the window that says "HA HA HA I kill motorists."
Every great once in a while that moment of truth reveals a young male driver with his hat turned backwards engrossed in his music du jour with no idea that you even exist or that he potentially brought the two of you together in the afterlife. That is a tiny bit satisfying.
But for the most part, it's always a big letdown every time I look over. You'd think I'd stop looking over. Just give it up. No... I still do it. I think I'm still partially convinced that at some point I will come face to face with the eyes of Satan and drive-up glare-y eye justice will be served.
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