It seems hard to believe but this coming Thursday is the ten year mark of when I became an old married lady and committed myself to a life of learning more about CS than I ever wanted to know, how little money a person can spend on food per day without dying of starvation, and more criminal theories than I'm probably comfortable discussing.
My husband isn't a Microsoft man, a homeless person, or a criminal. But he is a superstar programmer (and has made sure I know the difference between software and hardware - apparently hardware people are the janitors of the computer world), frugal to the core (he has boasted about eating on 49 cents a day), and a wanna-be white collar criminal although we both agree that he's just too pretty for prison.
Despite the fact that he can arguably be the most frustrating person on earth at times and has made me understand the motivation behind spousal homicide, I love him very very much.
To honor the ten years that we've been married, here are 10 things I love about my husband:
1. He taught me to ask "Why not?" He encouraged me to believe in the impossible, to reach for things I thought I could never have, and not to dismiss things out of hand because they aren't conventional.
2. He has shown me what true selfless love is. He has time and time again put aside his own needs and willingly sacrificed his own desires just so I can be happy. He has forced me to rethink my defintion of love and to recognize love without possession. It is because of him that I have a much broader and freer sense of love than I ever thought possible.
3. He is usually happy to cook for just about anyone. Whether it's gourmet grilled cheese to cure the common hangover or a quickie meal at 9:00 p.m., I've never gone to bed hungry. His love of cooking also has a creative flair and I'm happy to be a taste-tester for The Ball Project and Operation Lethal Kool-aid.
4. He's a do-er. Although I wouldn't call him a handyman (he does look wicked hot in a Utilikilt), he's attempted multiple home projects with success. Maybe it's the male chromosome that predisposes guys to know how to do house things but either way, I can admire someone who says "I'm going to do ____" and does it (even if he didn't already know how and caused us to have to keep a casserole dish underneath the sink for three years).
5. He's a cheap sonofabitch but only to himself. He'll spare no expense for friends and family but if he's doing something for himself, chances are it's on the cheap. Perhaps I don't love this about him because I wish he'd treat himself more often, but I appreciate that he cares about money.
6. He's silly. We had a conversation about this recently and while sometimes I find it annoying, most of the time it makes me giggle. Whether he's giving me the backstory on the person in front of us at the grocery store or doing a goofy glowstick dance (sans glowsticks) on the elliptical, I appreciate that his inner child is alive and well.
7. He will try just about anything once. His eyes may widen as I pull the very large "device" out of the Castle Boutique bag, but he'll still go there with me. And he'll probably even make me dinner afterwards.
8. He knows what I'm thinking. We communicate a lot nonverbally (especially in public) and I love that he knows what I'm thinking. When we do verbalize, we often say the same thing at the same moment. (You'd think we'd never have communication issues, right? Ha!)
9. He doesn't always get girl-stuff but he tries. He tries to understand my convoluted oft-irrational thought patterns and even if he gets them completely wrong, I appreciate the effort. I also appreciate that he knows he can always communicate with me through sugar, alcohol and orgasms. The man has most definitely been paying attention.
10. He's willing to apologize. He doesn't always understand why my feelings were hurt or why this or that bothered me, but he's always genuinely sorry.
We didn't spend the night before our wedding apart. We spent it giggling through Wal-mart buying cookies and wondering if everyone could tell we were getting married the next day. (We guessed not since who the fuck buys cookies at Walmart the night before they get married?)
We spent much of our wedding night in the hospital thanks to an overenthusastic dance move by yours truly and although we didn't get to go on our honeymoon that weekend as planned, we did have a glorious time in Jamaica six weeks later. Of course, we were already old married folk by then and we may have been one of the only honeymooners still speaking to each other after vacation was over (the three hour bus ride from the resort to the airport was deathly quiet and everytime we giggled, someone glared at us).
Ten years is a long time. I don't know very many people who've been married that long. Sadly, I don't know many people who've had *anyone* (not counting family) in their lives for ten years. I feel proud that we're still together and that our marriage has survived the ups, the downs, and the Clinton administration.
So, to my beloved... You are my heart, my soul and my best friend. I shudder to think what sort of upstanding citizen I'd be without your influence. Our relationship has a few bumps and bruises but I think we could still probably sell it on ebay as "almost new." I am ever so fortunate to have stumbled into that stupid chat room on IRC 13.5 years and ever so lucky not to have to ask "When Can I See You Again". (Which is good because I don't think Babyface is recording anymore.) I love you with all of my heart and look forward to celebrating the next ten years... assuming I don't grow a pair and challenge you to the Thunderdome and consequently waste your pansy ass.
Love,
Moi
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