The Right Stuff

I have a love/hate relationship with stuff.  I love to buy things but I hate clutter so I also love to throw things away.  As I become older and more crotchety, I have become more particular about the stuff I accumulate.  I want what I want which means that you should give those chotchkes to someone who will appreciate them.  


My mother loves to buy me stuff.  And when it happens to be things from a link that I've sent her, that is wonderful.  However, she also buys me lots of crap.  I've gently explained to her that I would really prefer she not do this.  She appears to understand but two weeks later I will receive a random something-or-other because it reminded her of me.  Most notably, I received a small print of cats in people-clothes with eyes that follow you across the room.  It's creepy.  It's currently stowed in the guest bedroom because I am scared of it (and because we keep the door shut so I'm reasonably certain it cannot get out).  I do also give some of the things she gives me away to people who would like them more than I do.  I made the mistake of telling her the last time I did this and there was a meltdown.  I maintain that once it's been given to me, I am free to do with it as I please and if you are so attached to the outcome, you should probably never give me anything.  (I have yet to solve the conundrum of telling vs. not telling.  I'm thinking the meltdown really wasn't worth it and I may have to become the person who "loses things".)  


Because of the abundance of stuff (and other emotional therapy-worthy reasons), I'm not a big fan of Christmas.  This year, my inlaws gave us taster dishes.  It was an appropriate gift because Edward cooks a lot and we do a fair amount of entertaining.  However, it's one more thing to store.  It will be one more thing to pack and move when we leave our home.  It will be one more thing we come across while cleaning out a cabinet and say "Oh, we should have used these for the Dungeon-warming party."  


I don't mean to sound ungrateful.  More than the actual gift, I appreciate the time spent looking for it and picking it out.  Much of the time, I would be happy if the person took a picture of the item and sent it to me with a note that says "This really reminds me of you.  I'd love to buy it for you but I know you don't like stuff so just know that I was thinking of you *and* willing to plunk down the $15 for a watch with a stripping Batman on it."  That would truly warm the cockles of my heart because it means I am loved and it also means I don't have to figure what to do with something I will never use, wear or look at.  And best of all, I will never have to confess that I gave a stripping Batman watch to my very confused niece.    


I realize this makes me a difficult person to shop for but the solution is simple.  Don't buy me things.  I won't be offended and you save money.  It's win/win.  And if you do buy me something anyway, just know that I will really enjoy throwing it away.