My college research professor never had sex. I know this because he was in his office. All the time. Not having sex. Or perhaps more specifically, not having sex with another person. His research was his life, his sex partner and perhaps even more disturbingly, his idea of fun.
I spent the last two years of my undergraduate studies working with him on various research projects. No question about it, he was a brilliant man. But he never really mastered that life/work balance. And he felt that we, his loyal subjects, shouldn't either.
I spent many a Saturday administering questionnaires and conducting interviews with low income 12-year-olds who were just there for the free snacks. I spent many an evening trapped in "research meetings" that were somehow supposed to be less awful because he bought us pizza. (It helped. But I would have been happier with a can of soup at home.)
I had designs on graduate school for most of my college career. And after working with Dr. Slavedriver, I knew that I needed a break. After graduation, I got a job in my field thinking that I would take a short sabbatical from collegiate life but that a secondary degree was inevitably around the corner.
Never happened. I periodically checked in with myself and even researched grad schools a few times. I continued to feel that I was not ready to immerse myself in that environment again. Perhaps having a life outside of education was intoxicating. Or I'm just really lazy.
But in the last year or two, something has changed. An advanced degree in my current line of work doesn't make sense. I have to do continuing education so that satisfies my desire to learn somewhat.
Without trying to sound like a Rosetta Stone commercial, I've realized that I want to learn via travel. And really, that is sort of an odd thing for me. I love to be at home. I like being comfortable, having my stuff around and knowing exactly where everything is. But I've also realized that being in strange countries invigorates me. It challenges me on a level that I don't remember feeling since I was a fresh-faced first year student.
At home, history puts me to sleep. But when I'm standing in front of it, it's fascinating. I come home with a new appreciation for so many things. The world seems both bigger and smaller at the same time. And I find myself feeling a little more content in my corner of the world.
Patience is not my strong point. Certain things annoy me. And other certain things REALLY annoy me. In order to avoid being a narcissistic asshole (of which I am occasionally guilty), I do try to look inward to determine why Annoying Annie has such a ragey-ragey effect on me.
Sometimes I discover that a person reminds me of someone I knew in the past. Or someone who hurt me. Or someone who unceremoniously dumped the contents of our shared locker in the 8th grade hallway along with my Tiger Beat posters of Kirk Cameron. Not that I keep track of that sort of thing.
And sometimes... that person is someone who irks me irrational and insane levels simply because they fucking do.
I currently have a person in my life who falls in the Bi-Reasonal Category. She has personality traits that I also have (which I try to keep locked up) and she's generally garden variety annoying.
This person has never really grown up. And although I only have a couple of years on her, sometimes it feels like decades. She assumes I'm in charge of everything. And despite the many boundaries I've drawn around myself in order to keep from committing sodomy with a toilet brush, she continues to ask me the same fucking questions and make the same fucking assumptions (which are generally associated with me making every known decision in the universe).
Admittedly, I maintain a level of annoyance with her most of the time so she is at an unfair advantage on the How-Close-Am-I-To-Constructing-A-Voodoo-Doll-Of-You scale. Every time I want to shake her violently and scream at her to stop living like an 18 year old, I try to remind myself that I'm probably already irritated with her and am overreacting to the current annoyance-du-jour.
She does have positive qualities and is heavily enmeshed in my group of friends. I do occasionally enjoy her company. She isn't a bad person. I can, in my rational state, acknowledge this.
I do, however, wish she would find a different "leader." Perhaps, a lemming...
